I don’t understand this emptiness!
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17 Nov of 1988 won’t have anything to do with you; but for me that day was important, because I landed on earth that day! I don’t remember anything of that moment (of course no one would!). But one thing I know, from then to the age of 16 I have known no pain nor did I think of life seriously (thanks to my dad and mom! For the no pain part!). Then things changed, I started understanding life…not the whole life…philosophically speaking; I thought like some Greek philosophers. What am I doing here?!! Who holds the remote control of my life?!! And the questions came like the bullets from an AK47 on trigger! And it drove me through a few 100 books and there I was changed! Never in my life have I felt emptiness after that. Don’t know if I was a good writer but I wrote, don’t know if I was a good speaker but I have spoken to different crowds…I have lead many but can’t say if I was a good leader!!!
Those were the times I thought of almost all disciplines of this planet earth! I researched on Darwinism and compiled it! I wrote about death, education, dream, new world order and so it went… I started reading about people who changed the world and some time some fictions and once I even read about emotional intelligence!!! I’m trying to explain that how crazy I was going…Then it was time to leave school…the place from where I met the transition! I hoped I could stay but had no choice! From here is the starting of a black chapter in my life…or put it as a change I didn’t anticipate.
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"I have to go back to normal for good sleep;
for a good thought to nourish so that
I can again lead, write and speak like never before!"
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I choose to take my higher studies in Business Management and I found a college in Bangalore. But things changed… I started feeling empty… as if I had nothing to think or write! Strange diseases haunted me! I started to find it difficult to understand the whole idea of life and its meaning! It may be a coincidence but I’m again writing and this day will only come in another four year; today is 29 February 2008. And here I’m again writing. I don’t know how the whole thing looks but I’m in quest of a meaning for my life…I have to go back to normal for good sleep; for a good thought to nourish so that I can again lead, write and speak like never before!
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